Aloneness
Startled awake in my bed, it took me a moment to differentiate reality from dream. A feeling of terror washed over my body. In my dream, I stood alone and separate from the whole world. So powerful was the fear that I instantly reached out to place a hand on my sleeping husband. His realness reassured me enough that I slept again as the nightmare dissipated like the ripples from a pebble dropped into a pond.
In this Covid-19 era, many people may feel that fear of aloneness or isolation. They may reach out in the darkness to touch someone and find an empty bed. For me, thirty years have passed since that nightmare. The husband has moved on. The children are grown and gone. In the middle of the night, it’s just me. But the terror is absent now.
Making breakfast last week, that nightmare and the fear that it brought came to mind. I’m not sure how oatmeal and terror connect, but my mind returned to that time. I smiled. Someone who is able to fill each corner of my heart and never leave me is constantly present in my life. The edges of the terror have softened.
Photo by Molly Belle on Unsplash
No, I can’t reach out and touch Him, but He wraps me in His arms of peace whenever I am afraid or doubt. I have a certainty that He will never leave me. I may be lonely occasionally, but I am never alone.
